Inaugural Hash Weekend
It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood for the inaugural SLuT hash weekend. Everyone had a great time!
The festivities started Friday night, as eXceSs and Lycktonite hosted
approximately 25 wankers for a hash trail and dinner at their house in
the Tahoe Keys area. This harriette didn't get there until very late
Friday night, but asked questions and made observations to provide the
following commentary. The trail started outside their house and went
immediately into some shiggy. It was dark so I couldn't see much, but
Premature Evacuation told me it is clearly the place where the
neighbors take their dogs because there was "tons of poo on trail." At
some point they had a couple of pub stops; the only thing I heard was
that the wine at the first place totally sucked. And trail ended up
going down Colorado Avenue back to their place ... I could see puffs
of flour in the street as I was driving in at 11:00pm. I knew I had
found their house when I turned the corner into the cul de sac and
there were cars everywhere. I parked and when I opened the door, I
knew which house it was ... in addition to Christmas-type lights in
the trees, I could hear music and the sounds of people talking and
laughing. I followed the noise to an open gate - noticing a naked man
in the window! - and as I walked in, I noticed a hot tub full of drunk
wankers! I came in yelling "you're too loud, keep it down" and got an
apology from Lycktonite until she realized I was not a crabby neighbor
but was instead just another wanker. There was tons of food, beer and
wine, and I heard there was some "funny" chocolate. The hot tub was
mostly a "no clothes allowed" option, so I saw half the people naked
as they were either getting in or getting out. When I left, many of
the wankers were drunk.
Saturday morning the Friday-nighters put together an impromptu breakfast at Heidi's. As a Saturday hare, I had last minute preparations to do - and NO, I did not prelay a single trail mark! - so was up and out very early, purchasing beer-check beer, mixing the shot check drink, etc. I rescouted one little portion of the trail, and I was so glad I did because I missed a key turn and had to backtrack and find a landmark. My co-hare Runner Cumming arrived at 9:00, and we completed the last minute preparations, humped in the beer check beer and the shot check, and met everyone back at the start.
The start was in a field right behind the hash hotel. When we arrived, wankers were milling about, purchasing SLuT shirts and hoodies and waiting around. A big shout out to Pixilated Obscenity who graciously handled hash cash for me while I was running around trying to get ready. We had some surprise attendees, and by the time it was all said and done we had about 40 wankers on trail. Lycktonite had made trail tags for everyone who had RSVP'd, so those were passed out. Premature Evacuation performed a baptism ceremony, dressed in religious robes with a penis hat on his head and at some point a penis on his nose. The baptism ceremony involved several rituals and traditions, including a recitation by eXceSs of some "hash latin" - I have no idea what the hell he said - a question and answer session of the crowd to prove whether we were worthy of being sluts, and consummation by taking communion in the spirit of Gispert - ale for his blood, and crackers for his body. Free whistles for the virgins, a presentation of the "snare the hare" shirt that could be earned if the hounds caught a hare, a bit of chalk talk, and the hares were off.
Trail went on surface streets for a few short blocks, crossed over the main highway, and uphill into a neighborhood before hitting a trail head and into the shiggy. The first part of the trail was a big 2-mile circle jerk, complete with hills and bushwhacking, through portions of the Angora fire wilderness. The first beer check - shout out to Lycktonite for hosting it - was back at the trailhead. Trail then went off to the left, bushwhacking down to a creekbed before heading up, up, up a steady incline to portions of the burned forest from the summer fires. This crazy hare missed her just-chosen-that-morning landmark, missed her turn (again!) and had to mark an unexpected YBF to get back on trail. In all, I got lost on my own trail three times!! Ball Wrinkle and InspectHer Scab each bit on a YBF, so at least they were not wasted effort. After some steady up, up, up, the trail split with the turkeys working their way down and the eagles continuing up, through some forest that looked to be a bear trail, down between two huge green water tanks in the middle of the forest, for a surprise "eagle only" beer check. Shortly after that beer check, the trails merged and went along a path behind a football field; some wankers even stopped to watch a few minutes of the game. Trail continued through South Lake Tahoe high school, through the parking lot, across an access road and down along a fence behind some apartments, where the hounds found a "Bar Slut" shot check. Over a fallen tree, and trail continued through the apartment complex, through some open fields and across some surface streets, until it dumped onto the main drag. We took the hounds through a parking lot of old cars, around some concrete barriers to the street, and across the main drag for the last leg to the on in. (More about the on in below.) At two points on trail, with the altitude and my lack of fitness killing me, I stopped and actually hoped someone would snare me so I could hand off the flour bag, point them in the right direction, and pass out!
There was much tomfoolery and shenanigans on trail. Runner Cumming got snared by Ball Wrinkle, but not before RC tried to blind BW by flinging flour over his shoulder while he was being chased. BW was covered in flour! Just Jason learned a lesson; he didn't know you can snare the hare by shortcutting, so even though he could see the hare, he didn't go after him because he stayed on trail, so Ball Wrinkle beat him to it. Ball Wrinkle ran his own trail after biting on one of the YBF's because he was high up the hill and could see everything, so he just stayed up there for awhile. There were plenty of shortcutting bastards; cHeeK even cut off the turkey and imbibed in the "eagle only" beer check! I heard Just Mat filled a full-sized vessel with the SLuT shot! As for me, I was exhausted and REALLY slow as I hit the last little bit of trail. I kept looking behind me, expecting to see RC catching up to me, and the longer I went without seeing him, the more complacent I got, when all of a sudden I see him up ahead of me, waving me toward him. He yelled "hurry up, they're right on your tail!" so I handed my flour off to him so he could lay the last quarter mile and I could just try to finish. Turns out he was being chased (again!) so he shortcutted off trail - knowing I had laid the remainder - and hustled back to the on in, only to discover I wasn't there yet, so he took the trail backwards to find me. When we got to the on in, the beer wasn't there yet, so we made a phone call and as we walked to the corner to look for the beer wagon, Just Jason and InspectHer Scab, the FRBs, got all excited because they thought they had snared us.
The on in was in the beer garden of the Mt. Tallac Brewery. You would never know there's a brewery there, nor would you know there's a beer garden there, so it was a big surprise. The brewer - who was celebrating his 50th birthday party - brought three live bands in. eXceSs ran circle, and everyone celebrated being sluts together. Just Gina, a local, almost got named, but Lycktonite and XS decided to wait. Just Hope - a SacH3 virgin - flashed us, and we also had Just Liette (a virgin from Surf City) in the circle. Ball Wrinkle got his "Snare the Hare" shirt presented, the hares did their down downs, there were a few other hash crimes, and then things just deteriorated from there.
The on after was at Murphy's Irish Pub. Some folks went directly there, others went and showered first, but at some point in the midafternoon and into the evening, most everyone made an appearance at Murphy's. Some went to a few bars later, some went to chez XS/Lycktonite, and some stayed at Murphy's for the remainder of the evening. PoopaTrooper and Goes Down Easy showed up just after the bulk of the crowd left.
We were supposed to have Sunday breakfast at the Beacon at 10:30, but it had a water main break so everyone went to Ernie's instead.
A big shout out to everyone who came up to frolic in the mountains with us. Keep your eyes open for Lycktonite's announcements about upcumming SLuT hashes; it is so beautiful up there and they have so much wonderful shiggy for trails.
On out,
Starring Sticky Snatch
